BE THE HOSTESS WITH THE MOSTEST

(Somehow Traci knew I'd use this goofy photo someday.)

I recently hosted a small party at my home, and I was thrilled that so many expressed gratitude for a wonderfully fun and delicious evening. Unfortunately, I didn't take one photo because I was too busy drinking, talking, and laughing, as a host should. One of my dear friends, whose opinion I value tremendously, gave me the greatest compliment when she said, “Barefoot Contessa doesn’t have anything on you.” I also found that amusing because Ina is my idol, and I have taken so many pointers from her over the years. But I’ve also taken tips from my mom, stepmother, sister, and grandmothers. And they all have a few things in common. They make you feel welcome in their home, they make you glad you came, and they make you want to return again and again. When all is said and done, that’s the key to being a great host, no matter how you choose to do it. 

I ran into my friend this morning after school dropoff, and I spoke to her again on the phone this evening. She was kind enough to articulate a few of the reasons she loves coming to our home. With that, I thought I’d put together a post on how to be the hostess with the mostest. Whether it’s an intimate dinner with a few friends, a party, or hosting people overnight, there are a few things that will ensure your guests enjoy themselves, leave with a smile, and want to return. 

1. Begin with the mindset of what I said earlier—you want to make them feel welcome and ensure they have a pleasant visit. To accomplish this, you need to have fun because as a host, you will set the mood. So that means…

2. Do as much as you can before your guests arrive. Remember that your guests came to see you. As much as they might like your cooking, drinks, and the entertaining and wonderful things in your home, they want to spend time with you. And as a host, it’s no fun at all to hear about the wonderful time they had with your spouse and kids after the fact. 

3. Have a clean and tidy home. At least the parts that they see.

4. If they are dinner or party guests, think about the presentation, but keep it simple. 

·       Display fresh flowers but not any that are too fragrant. You don’t want to trigger any allergies or offend or overwhelm your guests (fragrance is very personal). 

·       For serving dishes, white is always right because it allows the food to be the star of the show. But feel free to mix in other serveware that complements the white and/or goes with the tone or theme of the party. Home Goods is a terrific place for beautiful and inexpensive serving dishes (and many other things!)

Photo via Ina Garten Instagram

·       If you can, use real dinnerware, flatware, and glasses, i.e., avoid using paper and plastic. If you have a larger party, I think paper napkins are fine…but use pretty ones. For a small dinner party, cloth napkins are always a nice touch. You want them to enjoy dining at your place as much as they enjoy all of the elements of a nice restaurant. 

5. Food. There is a rule (I can’t remember who I heard it from first) that you should never make something for the first time when you are having guests. I have a slightly different version: For the main course and/or the majority of what you serve, you should offer things that are foolproof and tried and true for you. As long as you know your guests will really enjoy a few things, I think it’s okay to experiment a little and use them as your guinea pigs, especially if they know you like to cook and bake. That could actually make for a little fun. But be sure to taste it before you serve it. Don’t experiment if that makes preparation too stressful. 

Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, find out what your guests like and don’t like and what they can and cannot eat. If someone is a vegetarian or pescatarian, don’t serve chicken or beef. If they have food allergies, don’t serve something that is or contains an allergen. You don’t want to make your guests uncomfortable when they have to politely decline your food, and you don’t want to make them feel like a problem when they have to ask for something else to avoid anaphylaxis.

Try to have a nice mix of things. For example, have something hearty, something light, and something sweet and indulgent. I always try to serve something that is special or unique--something my guests probably wouldn’t have anywhere else and/or something I know is a guaranteed crowd pleaser. And as my friend said, she loved the way all of the colors of the food and dishes complemented each other and seemed very cohesive. She enjoyed feeling that a lot of thought went into preparing for her arrival and that of the rest of my guests. If it’s a party, try to serve finger foods. Don’t make it difficult for people to juggle holding a glass, a plate, and a fork. Finally, not everything needs to be made from scratch. Head to Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, or your favorite local market to procure meats, cheese, crackers, and fruit for a beautiful platter that you simply assemble before your guests arrive. And if cooking just isn’t your thing, order from a catering company.

6. Alcohol and Beverages. Make it festive and have a variety. With a small group, as with food, find out what your guests like and don’t like. If they aren’t wine drinkers, get their favorite spirit and mixers so they can enjoy their favorite cocktail. For a party, keep it simple and set it up so your guests can be self-sufficient. You don’t want to play bartender all night, although it’s nice to pour them a drink when you can. For my gathering last week, I served two of my favorite Wolffer roses, a festive sangria, LaCroix lime sparkling water (with cute straws for the cans or glasses), and a beautiful pitcher of ice water with lemons. 

7. If it’s a party, try to have everything where your guests will congregate most of the time, but have it organized into stations if possible. For my recent gathering, I used our étagère in our dining area to create a beverage station. It had wine and highball glasses on a shelf above all of the beverages and ice bucket. On the island that is open to the dining area, I displayed all of the food. The appetizers were in front/on the dining room side, and the desserts were on cake stands behind the appetizers/on the kitchen side. Ideally I would have brought desserts out later, but I wanted to enjoy my guests’ company, so I opted to put everything out at once and present it in the order it would likely be consumed (not that having dessert first is a crime!)

8. The party I had last week was a gathering to celebrate the launch of my blog. I invited all women. I served a few of the recipes that have been featured on my blog. But I’m also a busy mom, and all of the women I invited are busy with kids and/or full-time jobs. That means we really don’t have a lot of time to shop and indulge. So I added the option to shop Stella & Dot and transformed my dining table (in between the drinks and food) into a jewelry and accessory department. In addition to the fact that she loved the jewelry, my girlfriend expressed that she liked that there was a common activity that sparked conversation between people who entered the party as strangers. After all, women usually dress for other women (contrary to what many think), so it was fun for her to shop and share opinions in a fun and comfortable setting. So whether it’s jewelry or a game or a wine tasting, try to have some activity to get the party started, especially when people aren’t from the same crowd. 

Photo via Pinterest

9. And finally, a few tips for overnight guests. Make their room a cozy retreat. Last summer, we hosted many people at our home, and the guest room was far from decorated and complete. But I tried to make it cozy by adding a nice candle and fresh flowers to the nightstand. If you have the space, try to give your guests a dedicated bathroom so they can make themselves at home without having to pack up and clean up each time they use it. Make sure they have plenty of clean towels (bath, hand, and washcloths). Have shampoo, toothpaste, and a few of the basics in the bathroom in case they forgot to pack omething. And make sure they know they are welcome to anything in your home. They can go into the pantry or refrigerator at any time and they are welcome to whatever they need (assuming it’s not your chicken marinating for tomorrow’s lunch!)

Having a beautiful home means nothing without people to share it with. So do everything you can to make your guests feel welcome and leave counting the days until their return.

(NOT YOUR AVERAGE) MOTHER'S DAY GIFT GUIDE

Mother's Day is now officially less than two weeks away. 13 days to be exact. If you're struggling with what to get for the special moms in your life, here's a quick guide to help. We all have different likes and interests, so hopefully this will help you choose something just right for her. Click on the product images to shop.

Wine lovers rejoice! If you aren't from the New York area (and even if you are), when it comes to rosé, it doesn't get much better than Wolffer, a vineyard and winery based in the Hamptons. Personally, I always prefer the Estate Rosé, but Summer in a Bottle is also delicious and looks as beautiful as it tastes. 

Summer in a Bottle

Estate Rose

If you have a trendy fashionista in your life, a chic bag for the summer is never a bad idea. Natural wood and woven bags are all the rage this year. Here are two very similar bags, one from Intermix and the other from Francesca's at a lower price point but equally attractive.

Intermix Gaia Cult

Francesca's Wooden Clutch

For music lovers and/or active moms in your life, these Jaybird headphones are sure to delight. The sound is phenomenal. They're wireless but still connected to each other so you won't easily lose one.

Jaybird X3 Wireless Sport Headphones

Those who enjoy a great fragrance in their home will love candles with scents from two wonderful hotel chains: Kimpton and St. Regis. Both of these fragrances can be experienced when visiting their properties, and they are by far my favorite. Perhaps if she closes her eyes while they're burning, she'll feel like she's been transported to her favorite destination.

Kimpton Candle

St. Regis Candle

Nicola Bathie earrings are a favorite of mine, in addition to Gal Meets Glam founder, Julia Engel. Check out her entire line for a unique and beautiful pair.

Nicola Bathie Earrings

If she likes to bake and entertain, you can't go wrong with this sweet cake plate by Anthropologie that is available at Nordstrom.

Cake Plate

For the special mom who likes to travel but can't always get away, allow her to dream when turning the pages of this beautiful coffee table book that is just as stunning when closed. Perhaps you can judge a book by its cover.

Chic Stays Coffee Table Book

If you can't think of a physical gift, give her the gift of relaxation and beauty. Find her favorite spa and purchase an experience. These three services are just a few offered by Ninotch, an Urban Retreat, with two locations in the Washington, DC area. Experience their open and relaxing float rooms at their Tysons Corner location to calm her body and mind. And if she's feeling like she needs a bit of a beauty makeover, eyelash extensions and a facial can give her that refreshed look. 

Float Therapy

Eyelash Extensions

Facial

If the special lady in your life is always on the go, consider this Daytripper bag from Stella & Dot. It cleverly extends just in case she comes back with more than she left with.

Daytripper

Expanded

You can never go wrong with jewelry, especially if that jewelry is personal and gives her some way to remember those special souls who made her a mom. Personalize them with the initials of her children. Or if you want something that celebrates her, choose her initials. You can even vary the chain length of the Pave Initial piece to layer and wear one to represent each child. 

Covet Pave Initial

Engravable Disc

If you have a real foodie in your life, anything with truffles will surely put a smile on her face. Truffle oils and salts add that special and unique flavor to salads, pastas, and even mashed potatoes. Or go all out and purchase the truffles themselves for a stronger and more intense treat.

Black Truffle Oil

Summer Truffles

Truffle Salt

If she loves the beach, you can't go wrong with this hat. Beauty and sun protection all in one.

Braided Hat

If you like a more traditional gift but from a not-so-traditional company, try a delivery from Farmgirl Flowers.

Farmgirl Flowers

For the interior design buffs, this new book is sure to bring a smile to her face. And it's a favorite of one of my favorite designers, Emily Henderson. This book will keep her entertained as she reads about how to approach many situations in the home and life. 

Being a mom is one toughest jobs in the world. Make sure you take time to thank her this Mother’s Day. And remember, although these gifts are fabulous, the best gift will always be these four words: I love you, Mom!

I AM HEALTHY & FIT!

Looking good and feeling good. Wouldn't it be nice to wave a magic wand and both would be true? With the insanity of this thing called life, it's easy to say to ourselves, "I'll start working on that in (insert number of weeks, months or years)." But the unfortunate truth is that we have only one body, and as far as I know, one life. We owe it to ourselves to start TODAY on that journey toward optimizing our health and fitness. I've been the guiltiest of anyone I know of putting it off. I always have some excuse for having no time to care for myself. Taking care of my kids is probably the excuse I use the most, but the fact is that I won't be around to experience their growth if I don't start taking better care of me.

Anyone know the guy on the right? Watch out for the left hook, Steve!

Getting back in the saddle after a long hiatus can be somewhat overwhelming. Where does one begin? If we have time to focus on only a few things, what should they be? So I decided to reach out to someone who has been trusted by New York and Hollywood celebrities for over 15 years: Steve Jordan, Trainer to the Stars. He's been on the Today Show, The Dr. Oz Show, and he and his advice have been featured in magazines like Self, Men's Fitness, and many others. He's trained the likes of Gerard Butler (why wasn't I called to be his assistant that day?), Amy Poller, Dustin Hoffman, Colin Cowie (remember Oprah's party planner?), Quincy Jones, and a few others that I'm not permitted to print because they are on the A+ celeb list. Celebrities can typically have any trainer that money can buy, and many choose Steve. I'm planning to take Steve's advice, and I hope you will, too. Here's a bit from our interview. It inspired me. I hope it will do the same for you.

Jennifer: Life is hectic. We push self-care off to the future, and sometimes, for too long.  If one hasn’t exercised regularly in a while, how should he/she begin to get back into the swing of things?
Steve:
1. Create a commitment/intention. Write down what you want to do or achieve, and you’ll be more likely to follow through. Many go to the gym and “wander and wonder.” You need intention and a goal. It's better if it's specific, but it can be general until you refine it. Some examples: I want to lose 5 pounds. I want to run a mile three times a week. I want to feel better. I want to be healthy and fit.  Creating that intention will help you begin and get into the rhythm. 

2. Take the first step. Do something you're more likely to continue to do. If you've never done yoga, I wouldn’t recommend that. If you like to walk, run or cycle, go back and do that the first few times so you have familiarity. That creates momentum, and then once you are in the rhythm and have success, you can explore new things if you want variety.

3. Make sure you have fun doing whatever it is. If it's too intense or hurts, you’re less likely to stay committed. Two things we want to do in life is to avoid pain and move toward pleasure. So do whatever is pleasurable. 

Jennifer: What are your top diet recommendations to achieve optimum health and fitness? 
Steve:
1. Water. Drink half your body weight in ounces of water each day. For example, if you weigh 150 pounds, drink 75 ounces daily.

2. Cut dairy. We are the only mammal that drinks milk from another mammal. I grew up drinking a half gallon of milk a day. But about 15 years ago, I began researching possible causes of inflammation. So I took it on as an experiment. My mom actually became worried that I looked too thin, but it was just a tremendous reduction in inflammation. I didn’t have the asthma attacks that I used to. My allergies were less severe. I felt better overall. Once in a while I'll indulge and have ice cream, but I’ll take vegan or dairy-free if I have a choice.
You can get calcium from vegetables like kale, collard greens, broccoli, spinach, and soybeans (non-GMO). I use almond milk in my cereal, but not all are created equal. Look at the ingredients to ensure it doesn't have a lot of additives like gums and carrageenan. I like New Barn, which is sold at Whole Foods.

3. Cut gluten. Lots of people are sensitive even if they are not allergic. The type and level of reaction will vary. Many women get rid of the "pooch" in the area just below their belly button when they remove gluten by reducing the amount of gastrointestinal inflammation. 

4. Enjoy the food that you eat. We get stuck and many think eating healthy isn’t fun and doesn’t taste good. It tastes GREAT! It takes a little more effort, but there is a lot of variety and flavor in whole and clean foods. There are obviously more options in urban areas and out west to purchase it already prepared, but there are tons of tasty options.

Jennifer: What recommendations would you make to someone who doesn’t have an hour each day to dedicate to exercising? 
Steve: Just do little things. There is a lot of current research on the effects of training and exercise, and it suggests that doing short amounts of exercise over a period of time has similar, if not better, effects than doing one longer workout. In other words, you'd get the same or better results if you worked out 10 minutes two times per day over seven days as you would working out one hour a day three days a week. Do things that fit into your schedule. Exercise in ways that won’t burden you if you’re time sensitive. You want to do things that will make you more productive. When you exercise, you feel better, you have more energy, and you begin creating routine all around because you’re disciplining yourself in one specific area. You'll become more efficient and you’ll end up having more time in general. Start with less/what you can handle. Be successful at completing 10-15 minutes 6-7 days versus upsetting your schedule. I actually specialize in 30 minute sessions at my studio because I work with lots of people who are time-constrained.

Jennifer: How does one motivate on days when we just aren’t feeling it? 
Steve: Put your sneakers on. I don’t know anyone who has ever turned back after putting on their sneakers. I don’t think I’ve ever done it (maybe once or twice). Getting out the door is the hardest part. 
I also feel strongly that if you're feeling tired or rundown, then your body is telling you something, and you should take time to nap or rest. Go to bed earlier or sleep later if you really don't feel well. But definitely do not skip a workout to fill the time with something else. Rest. Exercise can create more stress on your body if you're exhausted. Consider stretching, getting a massage, or sitting in the sun to get some Vitamin D. Our world is filled with stressors like excessive communication, work, etc., and we end up feeling worn out and burned out too frequently. Listen to your body.

Jennifer: If you were forced to do only one type of exercise/workout, what would it be and why?
Steve: That’s like asking someone what their favorite food is. The most bang for your buck and time that would incorporate all of your senses would be walking or running OUTSIDE. Getting out and connecting to all five of your senses is important. Do it alone. Don't look at your phone. Use your upper body. Smell the roses. See new perspectives. I have a 93-year-old client, and I asked about her secret to aging gracefully. The one thing she’s done consistently throughout her lifetime is walking. You’re breathing fresh air and taking in everything around you. Walking is one of the most therapeutic things you can do because it doesn't stress your body. It burns calories. You’re looking up vs. down. Posture is also incorporated. It’s the one thing you can do forever, and you should do it as often and for as long as you can. If you're not a runner, you can do intermittent walking and running like our hunter and gatherer ancestors when they were hunting down a buffalo. The animal would run until it got tired and stop. We had better endurance because we could run/walk intermittently, and we would eventually catch it. (Steve and I had a good laugh over this analogy. There's more to it in the entire interview, but I'll spare you all. Message me if you want to hear it.)

Jennifer: Mindfulness, a healthy spirit, and low stress are important for overall well-being and long term health. How do you reduce stress and maintain a healthy mindset?
Steve:
1. Breathe, connect to your breath, not necessarily in meditation, but while you're walking down the street, on the phone, or exercising. Make sure your breath is deep and not shallow.

2. SMILE! That's my secret sauce. You can't be unhappy or stressed when you're smiling. Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it. When clients come in stressed, I'll suggest they smile, and while smiling try saying, "You mother fucker!" [We both die laughing.] You can say it, but it’s not articulate because you laugh. Laughter reduces stress. Instantaneously. Completley opposite hormones are present when you’re stressed vs. laughing.  

3. This is metaphoric, but stop to smell the roses. Look at your surroundings and feel a sense of gratitude for what you have, the world, and the life you've created. Even if you're not in the most wonderful place, there is still beauty somewhere. You may just have to look harder. Look outside of what you’re used to. We are creatures of habit. We get caught up in patterns and do the same things over and over again. And when you can step outside of those patterns, you’ll notice things you haven’t noticed before.

Steve and his wife, Yuki, enjoying the beauty of life together

4. Exercise. Obviously. 

ABOUT STEVE

When your annoying blogger friend insists on using this selfie in her blog post. If I looked like this, I'd have a selfie stick permanently strapped to my arm.

I'm not a celebrity, but fortunately I've known Steve for nearly 25 years. We went to school together at the University of Maryland.  A few weeks ago, I posted a teaser on Instagram and said something to the effect of, "You'll start feeling as good as he looks." But what you don't know is that Steve's true commitment to this journey of health and fitness wasn't really motivated by what you see on the outside. It was born out of a way to nurture his soul and heal from the inside out. When Steve was in college, he fell from the roof of his three-story fraternity house. He suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and almost lost his life. It took him over a year and a half to recover. Before the accident, Steve was known as the guy who was always in shape and had a killer six-pack. But his miraculous recovery after his accident inspired his peers, and they began asking him to train them. He realized he had the power to heal himself and to change the lives of others for the better. 

I asked Steve when he knew this dream career was one he wanted to chase. For him, it wasn't a specific moment in time or a light bulb that suddenly turned on. It was an evolution and a series of events that all pointed him in this direction. While at the University of Maryland, he earned his certification and began training local clients. During his senior year, he was hired by the director of the White House Athletic Club to train White House staff and politicians. After college, Steve moved to the NYC area and was the star trainer at Sports Club LA in Rockefeller Center, where he trained Ann Curry and a local news anchor and was featured on the Today Show. When he first moved to LA, he became an educator for the National Academy of Sports Medicine. Steve trained trainers to help them earn the most prestigious personal training certification that exists. From one job to the next, each getting better along the way, Steve realized he had the power to create programs that changed the way people looked, but more importantly, he had the unique ability to connect and relate to people and change the way they think. He motivated people to motivate themselves.

But being Trainer to the Stars isn't enough for Steve. He's presently working on a book called I Am...Healthy & Fit, and if we're lucky, we should be able to get our hands on a copy within a year. Steve feels strongly that you have to believe it before you can achieve it. The book has been in the works for a few years. That wasn’t always the title, but that title came to him about a year ago, and people really get it. You have to change your mind before you can change anything else. It doesn’t matter what exercise or life modification you choose. If you don’t believe it’s going to work for you, then it won't. Steve shared, "People believe in me because of my track record, history, and the people I've trained, so there's a perception that I bring value. People believe I have the answer, but the answer really lies within. And that's simply the belief that they’ll reach their goal." 

Steve lives in the Westwood neighborhood of Los Angeles with his beautiful wife, Yuki. His studio, Steve Jordan Acceleration, is there, as well. Reach out if you’re ever in the area and want a training session, and mention that I sent you! 

I hope this post has inspired you and provided you with a few ideas on how you can begin to change your life for the better TODAY. Tell yourself, "I am healthy and fit!" And choose one thing from my interview with Steve to begin doing TODAY.

Steve & Dr. Oz

The Art of a Thank You Note

Maya Angelou has been credited with saying, "People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." For me, knowing I'm appreciated by others is one of life's most rewarding feelings. And I think that's probably true for many. Hearing "thank you" is always wonderful, but for some reason, seeing it in writing, especially when it's not expected, takes that appreciation to another level. Unfortunately, in a time when we've all gotten used to instant gratification and checking things off of our lists, it seems like handwritten notes are a thing of the past. Even still, I can't think of anything more magnificent to receive in the mailbox than a sincere thank you note.

thank you note from monica loos art & design

I've been told more than once that I write the best thank you notes. In fact, I've actually had people call or write to thank me for my thank you note. Such a wonderful feeling! So what makes a great thank you note? In the end, if your sentiments are sincere and from the heart, that's 90% of the recipe, but here are a few tips in case you're somewhat out of practice. 

1. While your words are most important, opening something beautiful and/or personal that feels like it was chosen just for the recipient, is quite a treat. If your life doesn't allow for you to choose a different card each time you write a note, consider something universally pleasing like the card pictured above from San Francisco-based artist and designer, Monica Loos (who also happens to be my talented sister-in-law). Getting more personal, if your recipient loves the ocean for example, consider a card such as the one below that can be found at minted.com. 

thank you note from minted 

To keep it simple but just as beautiful, you may want to invest in personalized stationery of your own so that your recipients feel some of your presence upon opening. This is a beautiful set from minted.com with gold foil pressed onto kraft paper.

gold foil personalized stationery set from minted.com

2. Hand write the note. Even if you do not have beautiful stationery available, there's just something more special about a handwritten note. It shows a bit of your personality--are you fancy or simple, are you playful with hearts and 'emojis' or more serious, are you human because you made a mistake when writing--part of you comes through this way.

3 and 4. Be specific about the reason behind your gratitude AND how it impacted your life.  Was it a gift? If so, how will you use it? What need did it fill? Were you surprised by it? Is it something you've always wanted but never got around to buying for yourself? Or was it something they said? Did those few words change your perspective and motivate you to do something you've been putting off? Did they show support when you needed it most? Did they do something for you, and did that act make your day or life a hundred times easier? Or my favorite of all, "Thank you for being in my life" without thanking them for any specific gift or act. Because let's face it, we don't do that nearly enough.

5. Share the feeling they gave you and let them know that feeling will last. How will you think of them every time you remember their kind words or open the book that is so meaningful to you?  Or how did they inspire you to make a change to improve your life?

6. Wish them well. Because they brought love, kindness, wisdom, or something else positive into your life, wish the best for them. After all, people who spread happiness are so deserving of it in return.

Finally, I'll leave you with a thank you note that was perhaps one of the easiest I've ever written. My heart was full and the words just flowed. It was to my son's final pre-school teacher, and it was also her final year teaching as she and her husband prepared for the arrival of their first child. I snapped photos of it to send to fellow parents, as it was part of the class year-end gift (so please excuse the fact that they aren't so professional looking). May you all have people as wonderful as Sarah in your life to make it easy to master the art of a thank you note.